About bslynn

I'm a dad & a dungeon master (DM) for the dungeons & dragons (D&D) role-playing game (RPG).

Excel Formula, I am fighting with.

=IF(AND(OR(IFERROR(SEARCH(“Beguiling Influence”,Attacks_Defenses_notes,1),0)>0,IFERROR(SEARCH(“Beguiling Influence”,Features_Abilities_notes_1,1),0)>0,IFERROR(SEARCH(“Beguiling Influence”,Features_Abilities_notes_2,1),0)>0),OR(AND(Z10=”Warlock”,AH10>1),AND(Z11=”Warlock”,AH11>1),AND(Z12=”Warlock”,AH12>1),AND(Z13=”Warlock”,AH13>1))),2,0)

The answer should be 2 for the current spreadsheet but it is only showing 0. Information from the spreadsheet Warlock 2 with Beguiling Influence in the FEATURES_ABILTIES_NOTES_1 area.

Each portion of the formula reports the right information & if I select the whole formula & hit InsertFunction it shows that it should be returning 2, but the actual formula does not.


(Edited down to the portion not working.)


The rules of an Adventuring Party

1. “Never Antagonize the GM”

2. “Feed the GM” (Try to make sure you have their favorite stuff too.)

3. “Never Give the GM Ideas.”

4. “The GM is Always Right”

5. “Play it Where it Lies (As Long As It’s a Flat Surface)”

6. “If they have access to healing magic, always be nice to them.”

7. “Never split the party.”

8. “Never do anything Jimmy (name may be different in your games) says”

Contributors from #RPGChat include: @GeeCaret2 @Misfit_KotLD @is3rith

Contributors from an earlier conversation on Twitter include: @BullCityFats @dungeonbeef @ps_malone

RPGChat Story Starter part 2

DaddyDM: story starter: Sitting on a beach w/a beer, watching the waves roll in. You see a couple in black suits talking to the bartender.

@watcher_969: A woman in red dress stands up,splashes a drink in her date’s face, & shoots the suit couple in the back as she exits the bar.

DaddyDM: Ruby, as you have now dubbed her, jumps in your convertible & shouts, “Let’s go lover!” & pointing the gun at you.

@watcher_969: Stepping on the gas,shifting gears quickly, & taking mirror off driver side as you exiting the club parking lot heading out of town

DaddyDM: Follow the beach front, south. I’ll let you know where you’ll be getting off soon enough. She winks at you when you glance over.

@watcher_969: You were off duty tonight but take stock of road & misc gear, watch, glasses, money, ID & knife. Not much but enough if needed.

DaddyDM: Lady, I don’t know what nut-house you broke out of but I’ve no clue what you’re talking about?

@watcher_969: Ruby replies “no need for hospital,got a clean bill of health yesterday,pull off here,join me?” U see a helicopter waiting on beach

DaddyDM: Lady I am not getting in a helicopter with you. You can just shoot me now & be done with it. I have no intention of flying.

@watcher_969: Her reply, “Was planning on something more fun but go ahead & park.We can part ways.” U park the car & she shoots u w/ a KO needle

DaddyDM: Grabs at arm, what’d you do to me? Head’s throbbing & my vision is blurring. No, I think… might be allergic… <passes out>

@watcher_969: U awake to throbbing head, rumbling noise, & a vibration jarring you to wakefulness. Out a window you see blue… b4 passing out.

DaddyDM: Suddenly the floor is coming at U & Ur stomach feels ill, suddenly U wake to find yourself in a helicopter heaving all over.

@watcher_969: Ruby says, “I asked nicely but no,” she tosses you a pill container, “take two, it will help,” & she calmly goes back to flying.

DaddyDM: Assuming if Ruby wanted me dead, I’d already be, I take 2, & promptly pass out again, hoping to wake up from this awful dream.

@watcher_969: U awake to surf sound, quiet conversation, & feel salt air breeze on ur face. Keeping eyes closed u strain to hear conversation.

DaddyDM: All the background noise falls away, the only thing you seem to hear is the quiet conversation & some1 unscrewing a 9mm Ti-Rant

@watcher_969: U hear Ruby say,”Mistrustful but he is here now,” while gun is cleaned. Clinical male voice replies,”We can start injections now”

DaddyDM: Eyes spring open, as conversation fades away. Taking stock of the space, w/o making noise. Looks like a room in a beach house.

@watcher_969: Laying in a single bed in a room with 3 closed doors, desk, chair, & open french doors showing a beach w/ open expanse of sea.

DaddyDM: Trying to sit up slowly, still makes a bunch of squeaking &rattling, which is probably why they didn’t tie me up. Wait I’m nude

@watcher_969: Wait you have catheter & IV but the bag is electric blue not clear. Vision clears & u see on desk green,red,& violet IV bags.

DaddyDM: What are they doing to me? Did I get violently sick from that shot she gave me? Standing up, I feel completely clear headed.

@watcher_969: Ruby comes in french doors & says, “good,you’re awake,couldn’t start other bags till you were up, lets get catheter out & clothes?”

DaddyDM: “What are you doing to me? How do I know what a 9mm Ti-Rant is, & what it sounds like being unscrewed from a BE9912BL barrel?”

@watcher_969: “ur training,is the quick reply” as she removes catheter, “violet,green,& then red is your preferred order from previous times”

DadddyDM: Uggh! Damn, you could be a bit more gentle. Why isn’t Susan doing this? Wait where did that memory come from?

@watcher_969: “Sorry Susan is busy, u were difficult this time, less trusting & took longer to collect u” Ruby replied as she attaches violet bag.

DaddyDM: “Additionally why didn’t you use the code phrase before you shot those agents, the disguise I had assumed, isn’t into violence.”

@watcher_969: “U know how it is,it became 2 missions in 1,collect u,& bag the opposition.Nice job on recall,u signaled for pickup,did u get it”

DaddyDM: Yeah, the item is in locker 546 at the local train station. Combination lock w/the typical combination for low danger item.

@watcher_969: She swaps out violet bag for green & tosses u stack of fitted clothes, saying “another 30 minutes & a new training module for u”

DaddyDM: Dancing around trying to put on the clothes without knocking out the IV, you look at Bertha & say Susan’s dead isn’t she?

@watcher_969: “Ski accident on vacation in the alps,u know how Susan was,” she takes off green bag so u can dress & then attaches red bag. “by the way I preferred Ruby but Bertha it is I guess until ur new program kicks in, see who I will be in an hour,” she says.

DaddyDM: Well at least she went out doing something she enjoyed. Was she Susan at the time or someone else? It isn’t like I know your real name, you chose Bertha the last time we spoke, which I thought was odd, Bcuz it’d draw attention

@watcher_969: always Susan, only boss & I change based off your mental state, Bertha seemed reasonable for talking to my BF, lowly NSA analyst. I don’t look like a Bertha, why thank you.

DaddyDM: You do realize that the drugs that I am being pumped full of before a mission blocks part of memories & opens me temporarily to suggestions for background to fill in the missing details, right? My genetic make-up allows for it. If U hadn’t given these drugs, I’d have remained Barry Lynch until I died. Except under stress where drilled responses happen. All except these red ones, which just makes sure I remember Barry’s experiences for my reports. You’ve developed some abilities since we last interacted too. I don’t remember you being able to read my mind previously.

@watcher_969: True on altering memories for mission purpose, sorry to break it to you Barry was a convenient starting point for ur life as agent. She continues w/, “I have had upgrades as well,my treatments are going swimmingly,” a moment later a flash & u develop a headache. U remember, U as a priest & her as a nun or gunrunners or candy shop owner or diver or mechanic, u stumble & say, “is it all real?”

DaddyDM: All the memories flashing back, it’s hard to see much less stay standing while sifting thru. They’ve modified the formula again. It’d be nice if they would go back 3 formulas, sure some of the older cover memories faded, but it didn’t cause any headaches.

@watcher_969: New one should not cause headaches, at least not for your skill upgrade, plus this time just a regular agent, won’t that be nice? I mean of course the standard physical upgrades but no deep cover identity this time, plus your requested maintenance upgrades.

DaddyDM: It’ll be 6 years since I did the last non-‘deep cover identity’ job. Do I need to go thru tests to verify I still have it all?

@watcher_969: I can assess your mental state,the pluses in my upgrades is now not a day of testing,a simple mission,but need to hit fire range. I will let you know that I can also temporarily take control of you b4 I surprise you in the field,only if I need to.

DaddyDM: I’d rather you didn’t do that, unless I’m unconscious. Hmm, Barry took up skeet shooting so I shouldn’t be too bad at the range. Not like when I came back from being Gerald, that character was a fat slob & wrecked havoc on my reflexes.

@watcher_969: Never tried w/ anyone unconscious b4, definitely a test I need to do.Gerald liked those BBQ ribs & sides,may have overdone ur need. Well let’s get this wrapped up, hit the range, & get the film from the locker. By the way the film is more important than we let on.

DaddyDM: Sorry blanked out for a bit, during the ride. Good thing I wasn’t driving. Which guns R we testing w/? I didn’t have any w/me.

@watcher_969: Jericho 941, X95, Tavor, & maybe some from the Galil family.Get film,deliver film, & I hope your Hebrew & Arabic are good. Bertha utters a phrase in Arabic and u respond without issue. Then she utters another phrase in Hebrew & u respond fluently.

DaddyDM: Your teacher was from Oman, were they not, or their teacher was any how, or I guess you could have spent a lot of time there.

@watcher_969: Good ear but I started off learning the language in the Mesopotamian campaign truthfully, & Oman later. Driving off the road into the jungle for short distance b4 parking car in cave & she grabs a duffel from back seat handing it to u.

DaddyDM: There’s more in this rucksack than you listed earlier, is some of this just for fun. <smirks> Or maybe just a lot of ammo? I’m not going to miss enough for this much ammo & I would hope you wouldn’t either.

@watcher_969: Gear for mission & u r not that rusty.I am just assessing that u r mission ready.12 shots, 4 weapons, 11 targets, & 25 minutes.

DaddyDM: <hairs on neck stand up> slips a gun out of the rucksack and verify it is loaded. “Did you tell anyone we were coming here?”

@watcher_969: See you at the end & there is body armor in the bag as well.U r momentarily blind & when sight comes back she is gone.

DaddyDM: Blast it, ducks down nearly flat & starts donning the body armor after checking to make sure it hasn’t been sabotaged.

@watcher_969: Ur voice inside ur head chuckles & says, “paranoid much?”

DaddyDM: If this is a test, I can find something in the car to use. If this is a way to get rid of me I can hot wire the car & take off.

@watcher_969: Ur voice inside ur head changes to Bertha’s voice,”I guarantee it is a test,tick,tock,tick,21 minutes & 11 targets to go.Have fun.”

DaddyDM: Your test combatants better have real body armor. Catching the light of a sight & aiming for it, then lower for a chest shot. Then moves quietly & low from shadow to shadow. Hearing some1 shooting at where you used to be, jumping up to make an obvious target, shooting the rifleman in the chest watching him disappear in the brush. Diving back down waiting to hear another shot. Breathing as quietly as possible, still sounds like breath comes out in a roar.

@watcher_969: Just trying to keep u calm during the test plus I thought u liked my companionship,well done,1 down,10 more, &19 minutes. A stone is kicked to right as water is splashed to ur left.

DaddyDM: Rolls thru brush towards the sniper. Once down behind the cover finds that the sniper’s armor only caught most of the bullet. I don’t have time for this! Grabs the sniper rifle checks on the clumsy kicker, then doing the best possible bandages sniper.

@watcher_969: Clumsy is 25 feet away laying down suppressive fire & shimmer continues to grow on your left.

DaddyDM: Then looking at the shimmer while moving away from current position. Grabbing a limb of a tree that apparently got caught by the wind & stuck under another branch causing it to bend to the ground. Knocking it loose, throws U towards the tree top. Where locking Ur legs to a limb gets U off the ground but U’re upside down.

@watcher_969: Clumsy & Shimmer pause for moment.Voice in head utters,Hello Wile E,now 4 active w/ 12 minutes.U see 2 scopes train on u as well.

DaddyDM: Bertha, do I need to kill these guys to get them to stay down? If I hit them I’d think it’d be obvious I could have killed them. These 2 aren’t wearing Kevlar helmets so I can’t shoot them in the head to make my point.

@watcher_969: “Finish it quickly I would offer as my advice.” *Shimmer grows again & begins to approach again*

DaddyDM: This is nuts, U guys are going to die if U don’t stay down when I shoot U. Shoots clumsy’s ear, I could have taken U out.

@watcher_969: U see a glint of metal appear as ear explodes w/ blood spatter.

DaddyDM: Shoots shimmer center mass, then about where a knee would be.

@watcher_969: Shimmer drops back,down,tilts, & then vanishes while flying towards u. The tree catches fire as a guy attacks w/ flamethrower.

DaddyDM: Drops from the tree & smacks flamethrower in the face w/the butt of the sniper rifle. Sweeping the FT to point at Shimmer.

@watcher_969: Shimmer dissipates & u see a woman,eyes blinking,& then she launches herself skyward vanishing quickly in distance. Voice says,”That was a bit of surprise for her,nice job,now finish the rest,6 minutes remain,see another 5 people emerge around u.”

DaddyDM: Attempting to knock the 5 over, sweeps the rifle in a circle, as soon as it hits it feels as tho the gun hit a wall.

@watcher_969: A shockwave envelops entire group,ur head erupts in pain,& as u push on the pain u discover that u create another shockwave. Bertha’s voice comes through haze saying,”Congrats,test passed,we need to get a move on.”

DaddyDM: I didn’t cause that I hit one of your cybermen in the leg & everything exploded. Which way do I go to meet up with you?

@watcher_969: “Sure,head north towards wall,give mental push & focus on wall when u do this” Wall explodes as u concentrate & path is revealed.

DaddyDM: Was that a projection or a mental construction or a fragile reality? I’ve never had the ability to affect the world w/my mind.

@watcher_969: Real world, congratulations on ur upgrade, currently limited to range of 5-10 feet & possible headaches after use.

DaddyDM: Collapses to the ground, grunting & holding his head. The world turns grey & wakes up w/the world still looking a bit greyish.

@watcher_969: Bertha comes into view as ur vision clears and says, “take 4 of these to clear ur head & lets go!”

DaddyDM: It’s OK, I’ll deal w/it. Why do the upgrades always have to come w/ headaches? U’d think no kinks when those R put in2the field

@watcher_969: U upgrade computer pain free there are always a few bugs in the new code to work out after release,brain upgrade more complicated

DaddyDM: You’d figure they’d do a better job since this affects our brains. Ubuntu OS is free & it is less buggy. There’s Gerald again.

@watcher_969: Flight,drive,flight,parachute,drive,some running,& flight again,she nods to Gerald.Gerald sticks needle in u & as u pass out u hear Gerald says, “brain getting more scrambled,he has lasted longer than other 1st gens but he is a mess,hard to upgrade now..”

DaddyDM: Blast, I am seeing 1 of the deep cover identities as a real person this formula is scrambling my connections. What was that?

@watcher_969: Ghost memories which is why I am riding shotgun in ur head to see what can be done, rather not wipe back to blank slate.

DaddyDM: Blank slate, that’s right previously when I struggled, focused meditation helped. Closes eyes, sits in a relaxed position & hums. While focusing on the humming sound & breathing in a controlled fashion the headache abates. The voices fade & peace achieved.

@watcher_969: See if u can keep that state through mission & lets go.Ur adjusting to her talking in your head but wonder what generation she is.

DaddyDM: The world comes creeping back in, you wonder if she is real or a construct your mind’s made for dealing w/ the new abilities.

@watcher_969: U cannot remember too much from recruitment,now to focus on mission,&just get item delivered…u realize wheels r up already.

DaddyDM: Why would I pick up the item when I was the 1 that delivered to the location, it should have been picked up previously. This scenario is not matching up w/the practices of the agency. Who am I actually working w/? Why does my head feel so fuzzy?

@watcher_969: Showed instability in last mission letting counter intelligence get too close & nearly intercepting u & the item. Mission changed. Ruby, Bertha, Becky, or Sam doesn’t matter to me but I am real just practicing in ur head right now, may be fuzzy from the last drug.

DaddyDM: Help me get to the car & I will try meditating more to see if I can clear out some of the fuzziness & confusion.

@watcher_969: Okay, we’ll be landed in about 5 minutes, u were out for 7 hours,sorry time gaps can be annoying, u want an update?

DaddyDM: It’s fine, I believe I was aware the whole time. Meditation was the way to sort thru. U were unable to maintain a connection?

@watcher_969: While u were out decided to take a break,I am flying & riding shotgun in ur head,it is a bit much even for someone as good as me.

DaddyDM: So what did you see from the pilot seat that I wouldn’t have noticed from back here? Got any water?

@watcher_969: Water & food is in the suitcase next to u,nope routine flight,landing now,we will go get the item,a new pilot,& a new plane.

DaddyDM: What’s wrong w/U or me piloting? <Digs around & pulls out jug, drinks directly.> Want some? <Holding the jug out to Bertha.> Less people involved the safer the item is. If we were not both trained or for some reason couldn’t trade-off I can understand.

@watcher_969: “I am fine, thanks,” she replies, “just a matter of evaluating to see if u got any stability under stress u work & I observe. Also no need to crash a plane after we parachute, we deliver item & return through commercial channels when mission is done. New pilot won’t know he had 2 guests or that we left the plane, hitchhiking for a bit, well we have arrived, lets ge..” gunfire erupts

DaddyDM: Where are we landing that anyone would know we were coming in & not have to worry about witnesses?

@watcher_969: Told u that the opposition got too close to u on last mission but ur brain was messed up & I was not able to figure out details… Currently outside LA & they know we r here *u hear clicks from multiple gun checks* ur stuff is in bag on seat, suit up, & lets go

DadddyDM: So we’re in Long Beach, the Boeing plant is here, maybe we can use that to give us some opportunities. Puts on gear, watching out the windows for gunner locations. These people aren’t amateurs, but they aren’t skilled like U & me.

@watcher_969: as u glance out windows u realize 3 squads may be deployed to each side of plane & it appears that they have u in crossfire Bertha comes in back as plane continues to taxi forward, opens floor panel, pulls pin on smoke grenade, & drops it out the hatch she then activates a smoke machine on plane & gets ready to drop from hatch saying to u,”I have the left & u the right,lets play.”

DaddyDM: Using a thermal image sight, drops to roll on the tarmac & starts picking off targets while still hidden within the smoke. “Some of the targets are hidden behind something!” <thinks we need to get next to them> A headache flashes, confusion ensues. Feeling a little queasy & thinking I must have passed out because I’m not where I remember. *Gunfire explodes right there.* Realizing the targets are right in front of me. Pulls a knife & starts dispatching them, w/more flashes of pain in between. Bertha, this is bad I keep losing track of moving from one enemy to another, though they are nearly all dead now.

@watcher_969: Sounds like a bonus effect,drugs made a change in another part of your brain but it seems to have a downside.*U hear screaming*

DaddyDM: Dispatching the “right” enemies, looks to where the screaming’s coming from seeing Bertha leg wounded & in between 2 enemies. Throws dagger at the closest enemy as it leaves my hand it disappears & suddenly appears buried in the enemy’s neck.

@watcher_969: “Nice,” u hear & then see another attacking squad all of sudden drop their weapons,grab their heads,& going to ground dying. Enemies are all down,lets get to the water,& her leg starts to heal.Interesting activity in ur brain,involuntary,not targeted.

DaddyDM: You find it interesting that my ability to perceive myself moving is non-existent? I should be taken out B4 I get some1 killed.

@watcher_969: Side effects are always interesting,plus this new ability may be something to learn to control,& I can still take control if needed Honestly the new ability is probably making it so that temporarily u lose perception on world,I have seen much worse side effects.

DaddyDM: How is me losing track of time an ability? U make it sound like this is a good thing & all I can see is losing track of enemies

@watcher_969: Had one where the person vanished for 1-4 days to reappear without any concept that time had passed,urs is attached to a target. The only time loss is during the targeting phase of your ability & maybe travel time,be careful when thinking u want to cross room.

DaddyDM: You mean I am disappearing when I blank out? Whoa wait, you are saying I am space hopping or passing through an alternate space? I thought my senses were just not connecting with my brain. This could be cool if I can get comfortable with it.

@watcher_969: Correct to disappearing,momentarily I lose contact w/ ur brain while in travel or focusing on target & weapon. Not something bad for a 1st gen to gain 25 years into the project so brain scramble aside ur life just got interesting again Truthfully we have been studying combating degenerative effects in brain w/ some success for 15yrs & now all kinds of new to study.

DaddyDM: I’m going to try something, to see if it works. Raises arm for a backhand slap & pops up next to Bertha swinging at her shoulder hitting as tho knocking off a fly.

@watcher_969: U get feeling u were allowed to do the test but still r not fast enough to beat Bertha & she says, “I have something for u to test” The explosion ability that is radiated off you 5-10 feet, can u attempt to toss explosion into plane while standing here. “Try it quickly & then we need to get to waterfront.” Her leg appears to be fully healed & she does quick check of the attackers.

DaddyDM: Focusing on the ideas when he caused the droids to explode & then tossing the feeling at the plane. Suddenly in the cockpit. Blast, wait did I throw the explosion or not? Swings knife at one of the crates out on the tarmac & is suddenly stabbing it. The plane & the create blow up one right after the other. Blast, I have splinters in my hands & chin now!

@watcher_969: Okay we will avoid that test for a bit but I think it is possible,need a bit of brain rewiring which we can do after mission. U see her get to dock & climb down to board a small boat under the pier. “Hurry up,lets get the package picked up & delivered”

DaddyDM: I’m going to sit & meditate while you pilot. I’ll keep my ears open for defensive needs, hopefully that won’t be necessary. Sitting w/eyes closed listening to the hum of the engine, breathing the air deeply, senses some unease from the water around. Feeling rises & then streams away randomly. Then senses it occurring behind at a distance too. “I think we’re being followed.”

@watcher_969: “we are,why I am not heading towards pickup but towards open water so we can get rid of them & I need to be away from innocents” As the craft goes out towards open water the hair on the back of ur neck begins to stand on end as u get a bad feeling. The bad feeling is coming from Bertha & ur not sure what to expect. She says,”I need u unconscious so u don’t get hurt”

DaddyDM: How does unconscious keep me from getting hurt? I can get out a rifle & damage their boat to avoid them. Why not do that?

@watcher_969: U see her eyes twitch & she says,”because there is more than the boat but also a sub & copter, & I can make all of them die”

DaddyDM: I can hit the boat & possibly the helicopter, but you’re right the sub’s not reachable. Though I’m going to take out what I can

@watcher_969: Feel a pulsing in your head,the next moment u see the helicopter plunging into the boat following u,& u hold onto to consciousness. Ur nose starts to bleed & ears pop but still conscious as a big air bubble rips through the surface after a loud underwater thump. She says, ‘my way was quicker,intelligence gathering as they died,a bullet gathers no intelligence, & they do not know drop site.’

DaddyDM: I wasn’t worried that they knew the drop-site because only I & the collector know the location & he’s mute from an enemy attack. Enemy could have some1 like U who could peek inside brains to get the details, but I’d guess all our covers would’ve been blown.

@watcher_969: That is true but I am very good, I was more worried about some sort of precog ability allowing them to pick an action that was best.

DaddyDM (was offline for 5 days): <Shaking my head.> What happened? I feel like I lost some time.

@watcher_969: Nothing much,but u might want to reload,I walked u into the drop site because I could protect u,because I can detect the opposition. Plus I did not want anybody know that I was along for the ride,pretty sure nobody knows about me which is good.

DaddyDM: Taking several deep breaths & forcing myself to relax (laughs at that idea) allows my mind to open to the environment around me. During the laugh, mentally glimpses recognizing there are 13 minds around w/hostile intent. Automatically diving for cover.

@watcher_969: I would say a precog. is putting pieces in motion to intercept, should find supplies u need in house ahead, guns, explosives & other toys.

DaddyDM: Half the minds w/hostile intent are inside the house, since I know they’re there & rough location they aren’t much of a threat. Walks up to the house firing shots into the bushes & then through the window to the right of the door. Sidling up to the shattered window, I shoot thru the wall that’s between the room & the foyer. 2 on the outside down & 2 inside.

(OK, this might be picked back up later, but with my work being very over whelming right now, Chris & I have gotten out of the habit of updating.  I am posting it now, and hopefully one day soon we will be able to continue.)

Quick story using Rory Story Cubes (Original set minus 3 add in Clue set.)

A plane struck by lightning, causes flashing lights go off. Parachuting away you’re doing fine until the the chute shreds & you fall like a shooting star. The remains found is only a splat mark on the ground. Under close inspection it appears to be an ink mark in the shape of a person. Later stories are written of a silhouette of a person walking along the road carrying something on his or her back, that disappears in a flash of light as you approach. (dice images: lightning bolt, jet, strobe light, parachuter, falling star, splat mark, microscope, open book & cloud on rainbow or silhouette on a lined road)

How to play RPGs pamphlet.


So I was burned out on the tedious work I was doing so, I started creating a PDF pamphlet of How to play RPGs.

It was in part because last week my kids & I played with a couple of people that my daughter said she wasn’t a good enough role player to separate the fact that she, as a player, knows the other PCs found some wealth & didn’t share it with our PCs, whom are supposed to be companions of 10 years.

1. Pay attention to the GM.
2. Pay attention to the other players.
3. Tell the GM what your character is doing.
4. Perform the actions the GM tells you to.
5. Have fun.
6. Follow the law of Wheaton.

It was a good distraction for lunch & it is posted here if you want to use it as a joke for someone or maybe a talking point for your game table.

Have fun, DaddyDM.

RPGChat story starter idea.

So today was a light day at work and I tossed an idea out on Twitter. I dubbed it #RPGChat story starter. A person I follow & who follows me back, jumped in helping to put a story around one of the starters I put up on the hashtag. You can see below the results that I copied from Twitter and pasted here.

DaddyDM (Me): #RPGchat story starter: “You iggits! Don’t you know how to put a werewolf down? Get your crossbows, we’ll have to go after it!”

SharnDM (Kevin Smith): “Werewolf!? That thing had to be nearly 5 meters tall!? If that was a werewolf, I’m a wererat!”

DaddyDM: You iggit, when did you let a wererat bite you now I’m going to have to end you to protect everyone else.

SharnDM: “The Captain never was very quick with sarcasm…”

DaddyDM: “Oh you were making a stupid joke with all these bodies laying around, I thought I taught you to be more respectful than that. I aught to wound you & leave you as bait for that werewolf, so I can take him out while he is chowing down on you.”

SharnDM: *Walks away grumbling* “Everyone’s gotta cope somehow. Alright you dogs, there’s a Lycan somewhere & we aim to put it down!”

DaddyDM: Put a bolt in its eye & it will be distracted long enough for one of us to lob its head off then burn at least the head. Whose our best tracker to follow that trail?

SharnDM: *Higgans rushes forward* “Since we jus’ lost Merrian to tha’ beast I suppose it’s me sah!’ I must admit though, I’m better with Gobs”

DaddyDM: Get to it but don’t make any noise doing it, that thing could turn back & take us all out. Take the fox w/you, if it runs you follow.

SharnDM: *Hours Later* “We found Higgans & the fox Cap…ain’t pretty. He wounded it though, I think it’s in that copse of trees over there.”

DaddyDM: It’s smart, I’ve never seen 1 catch a fox before. Usually the foxes seem to have a 6th sense that those beasts are coming.

SharnDM: Maybe it was protecting Higgans? What do you think Cap, it’s 3 hours till dawn. Wait this thing out?

DaddyDM: 3 hours of waiting around for it to hunt us, are you stupid, crazy or terminally lazy? Climb that tree w/your buddy & keep a watch.

SharnDM: I’m on it Cap! This thing won’t leave that copse of trees without me spottin’ it!

DaddyDM: Take your buddy with you, because if even one of you falls asleep you won’t have to worry about anything but me!

SharnDM: *Nods* I got a bad feeling about this one Cap. He’s a true monster.

DaddyDM: Do you see those leaves all shaking in those two trees there? <points to the oaks across the meadow> <hushed> I think, it’s watching us. Get the witch, maybe she can set a trap the beast won’t see coming.

SharnDM: Shall we loose a volley of these silver tipped bolts?*one of the rookies accidentally launches one. **A roar sounds & it crashes forth.

DaddyDM: Spread out, hide behind things & use its bulk against it. You, “little boy”, if you survive this, you are out.

SharnDM: *The beast crashes out, far larger than any Werewolf seen before. It charges head long*

DaddyDM: Cap drops a screeching fountain next to a rock and then dives behind a tree throwing firecrackers to the other side of the trees.

SharnDM: *The bright lights sear the eyes of the beast, but not the captain’s men. They move fluidly into position and take aim.*

DaddyDM: Aim for the eyes!! Grabbing an axe, throwing more firecrackers to the beast’s front right, he starts charging towards its back.

SharnDM: *Silver tipped bolts strike it’s exposed belly as it rears from the lights. It howls a foggy breath into the night*

DaddyDM: Throwing himself w/the axe at the beast’s throat Cap realizes that he isn’t going to make it cuz the beast will recover too quickly.  Swinging the axe wildly he sinks it deeply into the being’s wrist & kicks at its tender bits.

SharnDM: The beast howls again and backhands the Captain nearly 20 feet to his left.

DaddyDM: The captain thuds against the trunk of a tree, silently he falls to the ground. The {rookie} in the tree grabs his buddy’s crossbow shaking he points it almost directly into the werewolf’s eye & pulls the trigger.

SharnDM: DON’T WORRY CAP! *The bolt sails true, sinking to the feathers into the beast’s eye. He totters…*

DaddyDM: 2 of the crew are able to swing axes at the beast’s neck sinking deeply. The witch summons a owl of flame that sears the wounds. The beast stumbles crushing the witch, snapping at the 2 rookies, then smacks the axe wielders away knocking the axes to the ground.

SharnDM: Blinded in one eye, wounds seared & unhealing he finally collapses, his form shrinking as it reverts to human.

DaddyDM: Any1 left standing grabs whatever they can & wounds the body until the head rolls away, feeling relieved they then realize…

SharnDM: …”Its…Higgans, Gods above…”

DaddyDM: One of the newbies says, “How can that be, we saw him torn apart with the fox?”

SharnDM: The Cap walks up shaking his head, that was Higgans ya fool. This is Marrien, his brother. They were twins… Higgans ya fool, you prolly tried to reason with it…

DaddyDM: Can’t reason w/a demon can you Cap? They’ll possess some1 fast & deceive every1 around them. Causing chaos & destruction everywhere. It explains why they’re so big, that the silver only marginally slowed ’em down & how they can jump from 1 dead being to another.

SharnDM: Marrien has spent his life around silver, its no wonder.

DaddyDM: Cap, don’t get me wrong I’m glad to see you up & walking around, but how did you survive hitting the tree the way you did?

SharnDM: Been at this a long time kid, had more than a fair chance to acquire tools to survive something like that kid.

And that’s where we left off, because it was time to go. I enjoyed doing this. I hope Kevin did and you have enjoyed reading it too.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

What element ar…


What element are you test results.

Certificate: Test results
What Element Are You?

For 50 % you are: You are Water. Secretive and moody, you are a quiet person. Waters are usually very good with words and have the talent of ‘invisibility’ …They can pass unnoticed through crowds or in large groups of people. Waters are moody and secretive, so the are animals are a tiger (or large cat) or a falcon. Your colors are blues and purples and blacks. Waters dislike showoffs and know-it-alls.
41.4493 % of 77391 Quiz participants had this profile! Profile A

You could also get this result:
For 30 % you are: You are Air. Intellectual and witty, you are a determined person. Airs are usually very good business people because they like to talk and can persuade easily. You have a happy side, so your animal would be a dolphin or a sea creature. Your colors are yellow and white. Airs dislike bossy and pushy people. Profile B

Or even this one:
For 20 % you are: You are Earth. Strong and stabile, a good leader and role model. You don’t really like changes, you like to know what’s going on or what’s going to happen so you can be prepared. You do have and adventurous side, so your animal would be a horse or bald eagle. Your colors are browns and greens -earthy colors. Earths dislike people who talk too much. Profile C

Or even this one:
For 0 % you are: You are Fire. Fun-loving and kindhearted, people love to have you around. You are popular with everyone, yet you usually tend to not have a steady friend. Rather, your friends are always changing. Fires are fun, sometimes attention seeking people. Therefore, your animal would be a dog, or a cat. Fires dislike whiners.

Profile D